We all have that one person. Maybe it’s your aunt who comments “Why don’t you call me?” on every single thirst trap you post. Maybe it’s a coworker who replies to your Stories with unsolicited advice about your weekend plans. Maybe it’s an ex who isn’t technically harassing you, but their name popping up on your phone makes your blood pressure spike.
You want them gone. But you can’t Block them. Blocking is an act of war. If you block your coworker, things get awkward in the breakroom. If you block your aunt, your mom calls you screaming. Blocking is loud. It sends a notification (technically it doesn’t, but they figure it out instantly when they can’t find your profile).
Enter the “Restrict” button. Instagram launched this feature a few years ago specifically to combat “bullying,” but let’s be honest: it is the greatest tool ever invented for dealing with annoying people without causing a scene.
It is the digital equivalent of smiling at someone while wearing noise-canceling headphones. They are talking, but you can’t hear them, and they don’t know you can’t hear them.
But the paranoia is real. Do they know? Can they see that I restricted them? Does it look different on their screen?
Here is the deep dive into the Shadow Realm of Instagram, and exactly what happens when you press that button.
The Short Answer: Do They Know?
No. They do not get a notification. Their feed looks exactly the same. They can still see your posts. They can still see your Stories. They can still see your follower count. To them, everything is normal. To you, they have ceased to exist.
This is why “Restrict” is superior to “Block” for people you have to see in real life. It maintains the illusion of friendship while giving you the peace of estrangement.
The “Comment Purgatory” (The Best Feature)
This is the main reason to use it. Let’s say you restrict “Annoying_Dave.”
Dave sees your new photo. Dave types a comment: “Wow, looks like you gained weight lol.” Dave hits post. On Dave’s Phone: The comment appears normally. He feels satisfied. He thinks he roasted you. On Your Phone: Nothing happens. You don’t get a notification. The comment is hidden behind a generic “Restricted Comment” screen. You have to tap “See Comment” to even acknowledge it exists. On Everyone Else’s Phone: The comment does not exist. Your other friends can’t see it.
It is a shout into the void. Dave is screaming into a pillow. You have the power to “Approve” the comment if you want (making it public), or “Delete” it, or just ignore it forever. Dave will never know that nobody else can see his masterpiece. He just thinks you are ignoring him, which drives trolls crazy.
The Direct Message (DM) Trap
This is where it gets tricky, and where you have to be careful. If a Restricted person sends you a DM, it does not go to your main Inbox. It goes to the “Message Requests” folder (the spam folder).
The “Read Receipt” Ghosting: Usually, when you open a DM, the other person sees “Seen” or a little profile icon at the bottom. When you restrict someone:
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You can read their message in the Request folder.
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They will NEVER see the “Seen” receipt.
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They will not know when you are online.
This is perfect for that stage of dating where you want to read the text but you don’t want to reply yet. However, be warned: If you accidentally “Unrestrict” them to reply, all those “Seen” receipts might trigger at once. So, if you are keeping them in the Request folder, keep them there. Don’t touch the glass.
The “Active Status” Blackout
If you are the type of person who leaves their “Activity Status” on (the little green dot that says Active Now or Active 5m ago), restricting someone is a lifesaver.
When you restrict someone, they can’t see your green dot. Even if you are online scrolling through Reels for three hours, to them, you look offline. This creates a plausible deniability. “Oh sorry, I didn’t reply to your DM, I haven’t been on Instagram much lately.” (Meanwhile, you posted 12 Stories). They can’t prove you are lying because the green dot is gone. It is gaslighting, digital style.
Can They Figure It Out? (The Sherlock Holmes Test)
While Instagram doesn’t tell them, a smart person can figure it out if they try hard enough. This is important if you are dealing with a stalker or a very perceptive frenemy.
How they can catch you:
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The “Alt Account” Check: If Dave comments on your post, he sees it. But if Dave logs into his second account (or asks a friend to check your post) and doesn’t see his comment there… he knows. He knows that his comment is visible only to him. That is the smoking gun of being Restricted.
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The DM Silence: If they send you a message and it stays on “Sent” for three weeks, but they see you posting Stories every day… they will assume they are either Restricted or Ignored. Most people just assume you are busy or rude. Only the paranoid ones assume they are Restricted.
Restrict vs. Block vs. Mute (The Cheat Sheet)
People get these confused. Here is the hierarchy of Instagram aggression.
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Mute:
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What it does: You don’t see their posts.
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Aggression Level: Low. (They don’t know. You are just decluttering your feed).
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Restrict:
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What it does: They don’t see your online status, and their comments are hidden.
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Aggression Level: Medium. (The “Soft Block.” Good for toxic family/coworkers).
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Block:
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What it does: They can’t find your profile. You vanish.
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Aggression Level: Nuclear. (Bridge burned. Ash scattered).
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Why “Restrict” is a Mental Health Tool
In Europe and Australia, there has been a huge push for “Online Safety” laws recently. Instagram introduced Restrict specifically because teenagers were afraid to block bullies. If you block a bully at school, they might get angry and confront you in the hallway. “Why did you block me?” If you Restrict them, nothing changes. You remove their power to hurt you, without giving them the satisfaction of a reaction.
I use it for “Energy Vampires.” You know the type. The people who just drain your battery with negativity. I don’t want to block them because I don’t want the drama. So I restrict them. I occasionally check their comments, laugh at how dumb they are, and move on with my day. It turns their harassment into a museum exhibit that only I have the key to.
How to Do It (The 5-Second Fix)
If you are convinced, here is how to pull the trigger.
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Go to their Profile.
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Tap the Three Dots (…) in the top right corner.
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Tap Restrict.
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Instagram will give you a little pop-up explaining what it means (just to reassure you).
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Tap Dismiss.
And just like that, they are in the Shadow Realm. You can unrestrict them anytime. They won’t know you unrestricted them either. It is the perfect crime.
If you are living in a polite society whether that’s the suburbs of London, a corporate office in New York, or a university in Melbourne politeness is a currency. We cannot just go around blocking everyone who annoys us. We have to maintain appearances.
Restrict is the tool for the modern age. It allows you to curate your reality. It allows you to decide who gets to speak to you, without the messy fallout of a public rejection. So go ahead. Restrict that guy from high school who tries to sell you NFTs. He won’t know. And you will be happier. Peace is just one button away.
